I want to sleep

When did I make the decision that I was bad at emotions.

Was it when I told my dad to leave because it was the more logical choice

Was it when my mum told me she didn’t believe I loved her. Or when she insinuated that she didn’t think I was capable of love.

Was it in primary school when everybody had a crush and I just didn’t

Was it when I abandoned my best friend to hang out with the cool kids despite her spending the whole week with me to make me feel better.

Was it the same time I decided that I didn’t want a relationship because friendships are emotionally draining as it is. That I didn’t know if I could handle anything more then This because this is exhausting