I would rather not be seen so I cannot get hurt.

That was Justine on tiktok who makes cooking videos. Lying in bed scrolling tiktok to try and distract from the way my heart hurts

I just got broken up with. This has never happened to me before. The worst is I can’t even be mad because he was valid in the reasons he ended it. 1. The difference in sex drive. Tbh I agree and I don’t think I was really looking forward to going through the sex again. No issues but just not good. No not not good. It was good. Just too much of it and I was already over it when he was just getting started. 2. I don’t show care very well. This is not the first time I’ve been told this. I was almost angry when he said it but it is very likely true. It’s something that has been pointed out to me by others and I think I would never be able to be in a relationship with someone who requires care to be shown in these ways. 

I did want to be caring towards him at first because he was so lovely to me. But his responses made me think he didn’t want it so I stopped. I think I kinda emotionally disengaged at this point and that’s what he was feeling. I can’t be angry at him because I don’t think he did anything wrong with this situation. He just read the room and decided it was best he left. 

I’m trying not to be angry at myself or regretful of any of my actions. I know that won’t help. I want to have a positive take away from this experience. He was a lovely man who treated me well. We just weren’t a good match. That’s ok. It was nice to be treated well.